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Boulder, Colorado

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Certifiably Nutz, or just new parents

OMG. DH and I are going crazy. (Okay, so I've seen the acronym DH on several of these mommy chat sites.  Does somebody know what it stands for?  Could it really just be dad/husband??)  Anyway, literally, WE. ARE. GOING. CRAZY. We have the same conversation about 25 times a day, every day. Definition of insanity. It goes a little something like this:
Him: We’ve got to do something about this. Should we just go back to letting him cry? We could do the increments of 5, 10, 15 minutes.
Me: I know. I’m soooo tired. But I’m just not comfortable letting him cry because he seems uncomfortable when he wakes up, and he always makes stinkers. Do you think it’s gas or reflux? Or both?
Him: I don’t know. It does seem like it’s one or the other. He is awful gassy.
Me: I know, but he spits up a lot too, and he’s pretty fussy on the breast.
Him: What should we do? Maybe we should just start sleep-training him. Something’s gotta give.
Me: I know. I wish we had a better pediatrician. We can’t start sleep-training him when we’re going on vacation in less than a week, AND we’re moving.
Him: I know, but what’s our pediatrician going to do or tell us that we don’t already know?
Me: I know. I’ve never been this exhausted in my life.

And then again the next day, a little something like this:
Him: Something’s gotta give.
Me: I know, do you think we should start sleep training him?
Him: I don't know, what do you think?
Me: I don't know.  It doesn't seem fair when we're about to move and go on vacation in less than a week. But I've just about reached my threshold.  I can't keep doing this.
Him: I know.  Do you think it's gas?
You get the picture. It’s nuts.
Let’s face it. We did not get lucky in the sleep department. Turns out (yes, the catch-phrase for these profound life-revelations) sleep is really important. I often fantasize about how life might feel different if I could just catch a few more hours of shut-eye. I wonder how much more engaged I’d be with my little guy during the day. I do enjoy him during the day, but I also secretly look forward to his naps. Guilty as charged. I wonder if I’m spending so much time worrying about how to get enough sleep that I’m missing out on enjoying some of my baby’s babyhood.
I’ll tell you what doesn’t help. Clearly. It’s the moms at my mommy groups complaining about their baby’s sleep regression, “suddenly, he’s waking up every 5-6 hours when he used to go 12 hours without waking.” Are you kidding me?? 5-6 hours? If we could just maintain 5-6 hours, we’d be pretty happy. Or the moms who are like, "yeah, he sleeps at least 10 hours through the night, and on a good night, 12." Okay, it's my fault. I asked. I must learn to stop that.
Also, the horror stories DO NOT HELP. It’s absolutely terrifying to hear about so-and-so’s three year old who STILL doesn’t sleep through the night. Yes, I believe that it’s true, and yes, I feel for that family. Awful. But not helpin’ me.
Finally, my OCD reading has not been helping me. According to xyz book, if he’s 5 months and 15lbs, he’s capable of sleeping through the night. ARGH. But doesn’t it seem important to figure out why he’s crying before I let him “cry it out”??
Again. It’s crazy-town here.
This morning DH (so stupid- not him, the expression) took a bath with Zeke and I heard him say, “so this is what it’s like to have a baby.”
Yes, this is what it’s like to have a baby. We are paying our dues a bit. The bottom line is that it could be so much worse and we are lucky to have a healthy, happy little guy who is just so cute he’s edible. And, to validate my previous ranting, it is, in fact, difficult to thrive on 5 months worth of fairly extreme sleep deprivation.
Until next time J.

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